I was disappearing in plain sight.

2012-01-09T19:55:00.001+08:00

You don't have to understand, just listen for awhile. I was afraid.

2012-01-08T16:16:00.003+08:00

I'm no good with words. I say, I'd write a poem but I wouldn't recite it. I say, I'd sing you a song, but I wouldn't speak the words out loud. See, I didn't even realize what's going on in my funny head. It's absurd, this situation to develop anything at all is absurd. But, here it is and nothing can be done about it.

2011-12-31T17:34:00.001+08:00

2011-12-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

I know I'm stubborn as shit at times, but to be honest it has helped me to not lose track. I know what I want and even if takes weeks or months, perhaps, I'd still push through. I would.

2011-12-10T00:07:00.002+08:00

You are a complex situation that at times gets me feeling like I am really the one who's making it hard for myself, or whatever that means. You see, I can't even...

2011-12-02T19:59:00.003+08:00

I hate how you have this power over me, power to make me feel like crap at times. Feel like crap, just as today. I hate how you've made me feel dissatisfied about my life. Made me think that my life isn't complete when it's more than enough before I started thinking. Thinking about you. I hate how I'm feeling and thinking all of these when we haven't talked for months. And probably not going to anymore. Because, no matter how I ignore it, you just didn't and wouldn't care. Would you?

2011-11-13T23:38:00.001+08:00

I just cannot always be a friend, as mean as it sounds.

2011-11-08T21:42:00.004+08:00

I shouldn't be losing track. I've known what I wanted for a long time. But now I am confused, for a little. I've had my sight on the straight path far too long and I shouldn't be doubting myself. But there'd be times that I'm getting bluer and pretending that I do not mistrust myself at times is just a far cry for enlightenment. And I need it. Fast.

2011-10-28T17:48:00.005+08:00

And sometimes I just feel that I shouldn't be bothering you. I messed things up once, sorry. I am sorry it happened but if it didn't I wouldn't be the more mature, less naive person I am now. It was a rough and juvenile phase for me, I was young. If you didn't have such a rough phase then good for you, but I did and it changed me, made me better. Someone said I hurt you. I know I did, I just didn't know how hurt you were. And then I found out, how stupid was I then? I was awkward, I didn't know how to handle things, feelings. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be hanging on now,the same as you shouldn't be hanging on to someone who makes you feel alienated.

2011-10-17T14:32:00.003+08:00

"But if I move my place in line, I'll lose. And I have waited, the anticipation's got me glued."

-- Death Cab for Cutie.

IT'S LIKE BEN GIBBARD READ MY MIND.

2011-09-23T22:21:00.005+08:00

Sometimes it appalls me to no end how the closest friend I have turns out to be the person I have not the similar beliefs regarding love with. Perhaps I'm too cold and too self-protective or she's too blinded and too naive. Most of the time I just want to wake her up from all these dreams she made herself believe. And it may seems so harsh but I just can't stand and watch her self-destruct because of some stupid boy who wants her to give up her world for him, when the fact still stands that he impregnated someone else intentionally, and left the poor girl miserable and lost. I don't trust the bastard, and I can't pretend to like him just because he's with my friend. Truth be told I loathe him from isolating her from all of her friends and I want to punch him pretty hard because he's so fucking stupid. Honestly, he's not worth anything. My friend always falls for the wrong guy, every damn time, and she's too stubborn to listen to reasons--to us. Remembering all those risks she has taken and is still taking, I sometimes ask myself if I could go through all those risks too if I really love someone, and maybe I really am cold for I cannot imagine myself doing so. Maybe, not just yet.

New Layout!

2011-09-19T12:43:00.002+08:00

After almost 2 years (?), I finally changed my layout.
And I might start writing more often.

2011-09-12T21:54:00.004+08:00

My life is heading towards the slow lane, and I think it is a positive situation. I am sorry if I've been ignoring you,blog, like the way I've been ignoring the future. But what can I say, I live by each moment, and the beauty of a moment is that it's fleeting. And the future is coming, I'm not sure I'm ready. Well, aren't we all unprepared?

2011-07-10T18:34:00.002+08:00

I haven't been writing for awhile now. It's not writer's block or anything of that kind. My mind's flooded with thoughts of life, of the future.
I met up with one of my closest friends last week, and we talked about the future, her life, and the stupidity of the past. I just knew right there and then when she was telling me tales of domesticity that I don't want it. You grow up,study, fall in love, get married,work, have kids, and then what? Is that all that there is? Certainly there is happiness in such a concept, but then again what's next? I'm starting to feel that life is a bit pointless, no substance whatsoever. Or maybe, just maybe the whole point of life is the tormenting circular process of being-born-starting-a-family-dying that I so ever refuse to believe as the totality of one's existence.

2011-05-25T21:29:00.005+08:00

Aside from the imminent procrastinating, reading books, and Sherlock fandom..

(credits to whoever made this)

2011-04-25T00:49:00.004+08:00

That blinking cursor should be killed. It's like a clock ticking for every second wasted by not writing. Who am I fooling, I wanted to write but I wasn't writing. Writer's block, I kept thinking just to be comforted by an utter lie but truly it was more like being lost and second guessing my ideas more than anything. Then suddenly I remembered a friend saying that if you're doubting yourself, you can shut up now and leave your dream behind. I've decided not to shut up nor shut my dream down.

2011-04-02T22:05:00.004+08:00

I'd rather be confused than be sure of what I feel and know you feel the opposite.I used to be so sure of myself and of my every action but now I care not. I care not that everything is estranged and that something may be of intense significance. I care not, babe. I care not of what tomorrow maybe of great value and it is because I am picturing you have the same upheaval as I do.

2011-03-30T22:42:00.001+08:00

The worst feeling I could feel right now is confusion, but it's eating me bit by bit. Oh well.

Salita

2011-03-29T01:26:00.006+08:00

Sa mga bawat titik ng mga salitang aking narinig, sa mga tunog na naipasa sa aking mga tainga, ako'y nalungkot. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko alam ang mga nararamdaman mo noon. Hindi ko alam na ang mga bagay na iyong itinago sa malalim na hukay ng iyong damdamin ay totoo, ay tunay, dalisay. Hindi ko rin alam na ako'y makadarama ng ganito, ng isang pakiramdam na animo'y wawasak sa puso. Ngunit, isa lamang ang tangi kong alam at mabibigkas. Isa lamang-- ang tao ay nagbabago. Tayo, tayo ay magkapareho, nagbago.

2011-03-26T11:52:00.004+08:00

After everything, those words of yours, little by little, are beginning to be the truth. And I am disappointing myself for letting your words be fact. See, I wanted to prove you wrong but I guess I'm proving you right and I hate it. Must I say "Sorry" when such a word would be inadequate to make you incorrect. The silence that is your emotion is of no help either.

2011-03-16T21:52:00.001+08:00

Kaya ko na bang magsulat?

It's St. Francis' Fault

2011-03-12T14:13:00.004+08:00

We had a discussion about St. Francis of Assisi's life yesterday. Sir Fab kept asking philosophical questions that seem easy to answer but when it hits you, you'd be speechless. Speechless was I.

How do you want to be remembered?
What is your purpose in life?

To be honest, I still keep on thinking for the answers to these questions. I wish I had a Eureka moment like Aristotle had. All I have right now are dreams. Sometimes, I don't even know if I could even fight for those dreams. The Sancho Panza side of me keeps on reminding my Don Quixote that the world can't be changed by eccentric ideas put into actions. It's not like I want to change the world, people can't change the world. Let's face it. But truth be told, I don't want to be stuck inside the this is what your suppose to do because this is reality box.

I wish I was as brave as St. Francis.

.

2011-03-09T09:22:00.003+08:00

I can't blame you if you don't believe me. Cause sometimes I don't believe myself either.

Proyecto de Cien

2011-01-19T22:30:00.003+08:00

Tres: Manika.

PROYECTO DE CIEN

2011-01-09T21:01:00.003+08:00

Proyecto de Cien is a personal project that I've been thinking since I got my dslr. Why "Proyecto de Cien"? It simply means "Project of One Hundred" in Spanish (and also I think it's cool!Haha). This project will contain a hundred photos of random things, events, people etc that I would be taken throughout the year with the help of Dashy the 450d. :D
These are the first two of the project:

Uno: Hanged (post-produced)

Dos: Thirst (about 20+ outtakes before I got this one)

2010-12-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

Dear,
You have had the most complex situations I could ever think a young adult could experience, or rather chose to experience. I didn't want to involve myself with such serious matter that we both don't know anything about, and the stories you have told me about your affair have instantly made me felt displeasure towards the other person involve.I am not sorry towards the indifference I feel about the complexities you have put yourself into. Your aggressiveness and longing have gone beyond, and I am disappointed. The predicaments and misunderstandings your complexities have caused to our relationship are unacceptable. Oh, maybe it is partly my fault that we are drifting away but you see, you don't listen. I would not disregard my beliefs just to make you feel at ease about the decisions you have taken. Deary, you asked for opinions and yet you don't accept criticism even in the faintest manner. I have kept my opinions so very subtle as to not hurt you, but to tell you honestly I have wanted to tell you my utmost disagreement to the complex affair you've entered. I thought you know better than to exploit your being for an undeserving person. You may not be the person I thought you were. Farewell, for now.

2010-12-10T14:23:00.000+08:00

I received a dSLR as a gift from my father last Sunday.I couldn't ask for more :)

2010-11-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

Must. Watch.More.Gaspard.Ulliel.Movies.

Now, I wish I had a legit crush.

.

2010-11-09T13:18:00.000+08:00

Paris Je T'aime, basically one of my favorite French films!
Also I think it's the inspiration for Valentine's Day (which failed to capture the romance that is Paris Je T'aime! imo)

I think therefore I am a Francophile. But I'm not learning French, it's far too complicated. I can barely keep up with my Spanish studies because of my ever complex University life.

Eccentricity

2010-11-01T07:47:00.000+08:00

It's funny how my interests have changed over the years. I threw away the things that I thought I valued when juvenile years were on me. I am still fond of memories, yes but I am not fond of dwelling on the past. I dare not to be. So as I said goodbye to the magazines and papers of my early years I became reflective of the change evident beyond my reach. And what sort of things interest me now? Take Viktor&Rolf's creativity for instance. I still despise explaining myself to most people, thus I don't really expose much of myself. One might call it a defense mechanism, and I think at some point it is. I'd rather blend to a crowd and sink into my reverie than have full attention and be trapped by it. I don't really utter every idea that I possess.

Tehee.

2010-10-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

I'LL POST SOMETHING ABOUT MY LATEST FANGIRLISM BUT FOR NOW I HAVE TO FINISH MY PROJECTS AND PRESENTATIONS, AS WELL AS REVIEW FOR MY LONG TEST ON MONDAY.

PS: HE'S NOT A VAMPIRE AND HE'S SPANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!
(mi favorito clase de gente en el mundo) :D

2010-09-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

092010 E.

I can't believe this semester is almost over! As much as I want to graduate, I don't want to lose contact with my friends. We are all thinking about going to Graduate School after graduation, but I don't know, anything can happen. We still have a semester left to decide real well about our futures.

.

2010-09-20T05:09:00.000+08:00

There would be times that you just need to step up and be responsible enough to end the agony. You just can't remain sitting on your chair while the people you're close to suffer from the stress nobody wants. So you stand up and give a helping hand because you really want to help and because not doing anything while others are suffering is even more painful to you.

Merde

2010-09-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

I fucking hate people who don't do much but provoke others. Plain stupid. No need to address the negative idiot. Stupid act is stupid.

.

2010-09-02T03:30:00.000+08:00

"Looking in the mirror staring back at me isn't so much a face as the expression of a predicament."
--George, A Single Man.

And sometimes I feel the same. Frustration crippling into each vein, tears for blood. Like the purpose you thought you have in life was all a delusion that has vitiated your will.

La Verdad

2010-08-27T12:15:00.000+08:00

The truth is that I am not as busy as expected to be. But I am busy doing things that I like rather than doing things school-related.

I am busy doing the following:

Procrastinating.
Learning Spanish via Rosetta Stone (also: reading, translating and singing in Spanish)
Reading literary books (I haven't finished "The Swan Thieves" and I still have two books waiting for me)
Facebook-ing.
Watching movies ( I love "Ne le dis a personne" and I've never got tired of it)
Sleeping.
Playing with our dog.
ETC.

I want to savor this semester for this might be the last one I can feel human.

And oh, sometimes I am annoyed by people who criticize Venus Raj's "major major" answer. There were many circumstances that caused her not to win the Miss Universe title.Basically, the question was a dead-end no one could answer it in a way that it's sensible yet not personal. Also, the way the other contestants had translators affected the judges perspectives of the candidates. We talked about this issue on our Translation Theory and Practice class, though I was half listening, haha.Oh well, too bad they don't see it the English-major way. If only, then everything will be clearer then.

.

2010-08-11T13:53:00.000+08:00

~~As much as I want to post something sensible enough in here, I haven't the time and I don't know how to start~~

I am starting to think about getting a master's degree or a second degree if I graduate this coming March. But I still have questions in my head-- Should I take an MA in Literature or that journalism course I coveted a lot a few years ago? Do I really want to do this sort of things?
Sure, my parents will agree and all but I fear that I might end up just halfway done and quit.
I am in between everything I want in my academic/ future professional life.
It's like my dream of being a journalist versus what fate has brought to me right here.

Serious Business.

*
I still have to accomplish~~shallow~~ personal goals

Hola

2010-08-01T09:50:00.000+08:00

Soy aprendar español porque Espana estan campeones del Mundo,
y Quiero vivir en España tambien.

No, I didn't use Google translate.
I've been learning for about three weeks now and all by myself. Since there are resources online, I've yet to spend more than php 45.00.
Yes, you can say I'm bragging but what the heck.

photo: via stupidfootball

Like an Actor Gong on Cold..

2010-07-19T13:56:00.000+08:00

I'm scared of what's going to happen after graduation.I've never worked my ass off ever in my life, perhaps I need to find the path I really want to take and focus. I don't know anymore. I'm basically still a kid. Let me be.

Oh,Navas.

I Can't Even..

2010-07-09T14:08:00.000+08:00

Why hello life, I refused to post a blog entry for the last weeks simply because I was still figuring out how this semester would work for me. So far, almost everything is what I want them to be. I said almost for two of my subjects will probably make me the most butthurt student (or one of the most butthurt)after this semester ends.
One of the subjects simply shouts social suicide, and the other one has a professor who literary criticized our every move. Like, we're being chastised without no valid reason. Well yeah, we talk behind people's backs who cares? Everyone does it.
Well, what is life aside from university works? Nada. Mine and my friends' schedules don't compliment each other, so I haven't seen them for some 3 weeks now. I miss them, really. I feel bad for missing all of the opportunities I could take to bond with them. I could've gone out with them but I had things to do, if I was free they weren't.
I hope the academic side of college is over soon.

Hatred

2010-06-05T07:12:00.000+08:00

For a couple of days I've been in rage about how my Department sucks when it comes to organizing schedules but truth be told my complains cannot do anything. I have no choice but give in and keep up with the shitty class schedules. I basically have no voice regarding the matter. As much as I want to tell them how they're torturing the students, I simply can't,they simply won't care. And yes, I am afraid they might do something that will jinx my chances of graduating if I tell them to get their freaking acts straight. So I just have to deal with it. Freaking deal with it.
Sometimes, I even feel hatred towards where I am. Yes, I know I am such a bad Filipino but at least I'm not one of those people who declare their love for the country but do nothing. Besides,I feel I'm too Westernized,too European regarding my interests and such.
I don't want to be stuck here for all of my life, I have dreams that I think cannot be fulfilled by just staying here. I want my dreams realized not just dreamed.

Because I Wanna Throw a Bitch Fit

2010-05-27T02:56:00.000+08:00

I am loving footballers gifs and words cannot express my madness:

My Department is sucking big time and it seems like we,the students, are the ones who're going to carry the burden--extend for another semester. It's a fucking disgrace. There I said it. This is just unacceptable, really really. We have a maximum of 21 units this semester but I only have 9 units filled up, for crying out loud why are we going to suffer from the errors of those responsible? And to think it's suppose to be our senior term. Shit.

*/ credits to whoever made this awesome benzema gif. :)

Blindness

2010-05-23T09:43:00.000+08:00

THIS IS HOW I FEEL LIKE DOING RIGHT NOW:

I'm still freaking out about the 50-50 possibility that I might need to go to another University to take some of my major subjects and/or extend another semester. It's just frustrating and I cannot do anything about it but prepare for the said possibilities. And I'm starting to ask myself:' Where to go after this ends?', to be honest I have no idea. I just.. I don't want to think. I just want to live my life now and watch football, tennis and some foreign-language films. Is that so much to ask?

gifs taken from this epic nike ad //
gifs by: reiband of ontd_football ~

The Fundamental Questions

2010-04-20T13:45:00.000+08:00

"Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaarder.

.

2010-04-10T06:39:00.000+08:00

Money.Friendship.
Two things that cannot be mixed together.
But when these two do mix up, all hell will break loose.
Just like what happened.

In anyway possible I don't want to be involved and take a side. I don't want to be biased. How sorry I am about the chain of events is ineffable. They've been friends all throughout college. We've been friends. And inevitably some will be caught in the middle of this chaos. And, no matter how mature we act regarding the event, it won't make it better. For if maturity ruled the battle between money and friendship to start with, no problem would've arisen.

Kitsch

2010-03-29T14:17:00.000+08:00

"There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, "sketch" is not quite a word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture."
— The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera.

.

2010-03-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, no matter how hard I try to reconnect with who I was a month ago, I just cannot. Like, I feel I don't belong to the other side of my world anymore. Like, looking back to the memories of a month makes me feel things were peculiar and ought not be what they were. No matter how hard I push myself to reconnect with my old self, I just can't seem to get back to dear past--recent past that's suppose to continue to the present and future.
See, it's quite plain:I just feel like, I'm quite not the same old friend anymore. The one with the jokes and laughs. I've been avoiding setting a date to hang out with a High School friend. I'm afraid that when we'll see each other again there'll be dead airs and awkward silences.

Prejudices

2010-03-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes no matter how great you are, you just can't be all that you want to be. You take every risk you can possible take as to fulfill your own reveries. Sometimes, you step into others ego without knowing it. You're juvenile yet others think you're arrogant. See, when you try to fit in, people say you're hiding behind a facade. They say you're fake. When you try to be yourself, they say you're over confident. Say, you're ego is bigger than the universe.Scrutinizing it all, what ever action a person does, others will always find a fault into it. People find faults onto others not because they care, but because they want to feel better about themselves.
The world's being a wee bit critical everyday, no?

Fifty Books to Read Before You Die

2010-02-22T12:32:00.000+08:00

I got a bookmark as a present from one of my college friends early this year. To my delight, it's a stainless bookmark! Not only that, it's also a list of "50 Books to Read Before You Die". And being the bookworm that I am, I've just started reading a book off the list. I am, kind of, challenging myself to finish reading the books on the list.Here's the list, by the way:

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien
1984 by George Orwell
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
THe Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
To kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
A Passage to India by E. M. Forster
The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
A Bend in the River by V. S. Naipaul
The great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
The Bell Jar by Sylvie Plath
Brave new World by Aldous Huxley
The Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank
Don Quixote by Miduel de Cervantes
The Bible by Various
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Ulysses by James Joyce
The quiet American by Graham Greene
Birdsong by Sebastian Faulke
Money by Martin Amis
Harry Potter Series by J. K. Rowling
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Alice´s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
The way we live now by Antony Trollope
The Outsider by Albert Camus
The colour Purple by Alice Walker
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Frankenstein by Mary Selley
The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
Man without Woman by Ernest Hemingway
Gulliver´s Travels by Jonathan Swift
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Dafoe
One flew over the Cockoo´s Nest by Ken Kesey
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
The Divine Comedy by Alighieri Dante
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I'm currently reading "Life of Pi", and I've read "Hamlet" a few years back, as well as "The Catcher in the Rye".Also, some stories from "The Canterbury Tales" through my English Literature class.Most of the books listed are classic ones, and to be honest I was afraid to read classic books before, for unknown reasons.

Scrutiny

2010-02-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

I've always been my worst critic. It is cliche as shit but it's true.I don't know why I am like that to myself.Perhaps because people are just really like that,they feel inferior even if they're really not.
I struck a conversation with my Creative Writing professor down the corridor a few days ago. He told me that he's read the works I wrote for our class, and that he found them interesting. I was flabbergasted,I was not expecting him to say such things. First, I've always thought that my works are nothing compare to the works of my other classmates,who appear to be competent anyways. Then, I've always been reluctant about my works, I never showed them to anyone unless I'm compelled to. In short, I never believe in my works that much. He told me I should write more and pass my works to newspaper people, I was just overwhelmed. Words escaped my mouth before I knew it-It was my dream to be a writer, I said. I couldn't understand why I said those words, I just did.
I've been thinking about these things for a couple of days. Because It means a lot to me. I remembered telling myself that Creative Writing is my last chance on making literary pieces. I almost ,almost gave up on writing, I lost hope. Not because there's no opportunity coming my way, it is because I was hard on myself. Should I give writing another shot? God,please give me a sign.

Life's a Candy, and the Sun's a Ball of Butter

2010-02-04T16:09:00.000+08:00

Things to do for the following days:
Review for midterm exams
Write my research abstract
Attend musical practices ( excessive headbanging = headache!)
Do homeworks
Basically, do all school-related things.

I wish I have the luxury of time to at least think some ideas not related with academics. Like, figuring out how to make an annoying classmate shut the fuck up and never talk to you again. That'll be great. And as much as I want to post a well-thought blog entry, I can't. It's back to reality.

Note to Self

2010-01-26T15:28:00.000+08:00

~~STOP SMILING WHEN HE LOOKS! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD YOU'RE TRYING TO RESIST HAVING A BIGGER CRUSH ON HIM,REMEMBER? SRSLY. STOP. YOU WERE/ARE FRIENDS--NOT AS CLOSE AS BEFORE,BUT STILL. JUST STOP.OKAY!~~

I don't know what to do anymore. :X

Gleek

2010-01-25T05:09:00.000+08:00

I started watching 'Glee' a few weeks ago. I was curious about Chris Colfer's character! I was watching Starworld and they showed his audition for the Glee club (it was a commercial for Glee's Starworld premiere) . I was like: 'Male soprano?Whoa'.So I bought a ehem dvdx ehem copy of the series.heee. I finished 5 episodes in one night, cause I fell in love with it. l like Kurt and Artie. But, Kurt,mostly. :DD Plus, my discovery of the show is just perfect because I have a Drama and Theater class! One of my classmates also watches 'Glee', and we kind of influence the other to watch. And our professor told us we'll be doing a musical number in the school's English Week. So, we proposed of doing some songs from 'Glee' and he said okay. We'll be doing 'Say a Little Prayer', 'Halo/Walking on Sunshine' and 'My Life Would Suck Without You'.I personally like 'It's My Life/Confessions Part II' ,but err the mash up requires boys,and most of us in the class,are girls. I'm just happy we pushed doing 'Glee' songs through, and am excited! I can't wait for Glee to resume,albeit it'll be shown here in the Philippines, a bit late.

Hiatus

2010-01-11T13:46:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, I ignored thinking about the fondest memories of my sophomore year. That year,as long as I care,has been both tough and eye opening--and that's the adjectives I'd like to relate to that year,nothing more. But,nostalgia is inevitable.It caught me off guard,in the most inconvenient time of them all. And I thought about that year,and would force myself out of looking back at it.For looking back to the classes I attended,the lectures I wrote down,the discussions I had,never really are what I want to remember,yet the things I'd like to remember are the same things I'd been avoiding to remember.Until now,until it's grown onto me and is transforming into something I hate feeling.This inevitable feeling I like to vanish,drift away off of me.
As nostalgia started to take its toll on me,I tried in vain fighting it off.Trying to make the memories go away--but they just won't. What can I do? There's a 5 out of 5 chance of seeing my memories-personified everyday.There's no way out.How can I not think about how natural it felt being friends with you? How easy it was to speak my mind and laugh out loud. Say crazy stuffs.
It all felt natural that looking back at it now,seeing you everyday albeit we rarely talk now,is starting to make me feel something more than I'd like to feel. It is atrocious,annoys me and frustrates me. All I really want is just that little friendship I've started sharing with you,nothing more. I don't want to feel awkward towards you,never. Nothing more,for that friendship really means a lot more to me than whatever this developing feeling is.

Carpe Diem

2009-12-14T11:22:00.000+08:00

I miss blogging! But I've been very busy with..school. As per usual.
It's been crazy! First, I cannot understand everything in my Linguistics class. Syntax, morphology, fricative, voiced, voiceless. Whaaaaaaat?! Then, my professor in Rizal is..uhm-how d'you say it?- ah, feeling close friends with his students and is not doing his job properly. Then, then,then, Drama and Theater! We'll be having a monologue (with props and costume,geez) as our prelim exam tomorrow and on Wednesday. I'll be doing a monologue from "The Cherry Orchard" on Wednesday. It's a good thing we're already used to standing in front of the class and speaking. Then, our American Literature class is a bit boring, I like our professor, but I just hate the topics. Then, Creative Writing. I make silly literary pieces in this subject, silly because 5pm isn't the time when one's creativity would surface. 5pm, we're all drain by this hour.
Our topics on Gender Issues in Language and Literature (a subject like that really exists,you know!) are all interesting. I love this subject! We've discussed how certain words are gender biased, why we use "gender" instead of "sex" blah blah. We've also talked about "The Power of Literature in Girls' Lives". D'you know that the nursery rhyme "Jack and Jill" is brutal?and I swear, I am not going to expose my daughter on fairy tales! (Will, make an entry about his some time)
Oh, I just remembered what our AmLit/Gender Issues professor told us, when we asked things about our Gender Issues prelim exams--Do we have to review?,What kind of exam is it?,etc. He said " I train students to think, not to memorize" which perfectly makes sense! Professors should be like that--make their students think and do not make them memorize shits (memorized things, I believe, are just short term). He's been my professor for like,3 semesters now. He made us stand in front of the class almost every sessions, and it helped a lot though for some times it was hassle (Imagine standing in front of the class without any idea what the hell is going to happen)
Okay, I sound like a nerd don't I? Haha. This Post is so long, it seems I'm not busy at all, but I am! I haven't even seen my HS and Freshman year friends yet! We're all on our junior years now. We're like kids playing as college students. I don't look like a junior, I don't feel like one either in terms of maturity. But I'll be 19 next year and I feel old!

Estudaar

2009-11-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

Wow, I never expected to learn so much already,since we've only started the classes about 3 weeks ago. I am loving our Gender Issues in Language and Literature class,which has made be a bit observant of gender condescension through the language most people use. Creative Writing class is fun too, but quiet challenging for it's a 5-6pm class (we're already drained by this time). And I am okay now with my schedule, I've adjusted. Drama and Theater class is okay, fun but not at all time.s This semester will be a busy one,for sure. And hopefully, after two more semesters I will graduate already.

As much as I want to compose a long long blog entry, I can't. I got school works to do.

Random: I had this weird weird dream involving this dude who I was with in the same class a year ago,just weird.

Thereof

2009-11-20T13:35:00.000+08:00

A little update:

I am still assimilating with my second semester schedule cause it really is hard. Think of it, I wake up late but go home late and have to do my assignments at night too.Stress ,because of the day's challenge and the travel I make to go home, is the last thing I need to be concentrated. Plus, the fact that I have to prepare for the next day is just adding more on to the weight I carry. Imagine, my classes end at 6:00 PM everyday and I get home at around 7:30-8:00PM. A little rest then I'm off to doing school works. It really is hard to adjust to,albeit it's the second week of classes already. Sometimes it just gets in to me. Thus, I get distracted easily for I feel tired with my schedule.

Ooh,but thank heavens for the existence of adorable-cute guys that I adore (sometimes they're distractions but often do they make me smile). No, not the normal crush cause I feel like I don't have any crush that fit in the normal guy crush category. Okay, there are one,two random dudes from school that I have a crush on. But a senseless crush nonetheless. I'm gonna stop now and do my assignments, yes.

Being Sporty and Sports

2009-11-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

Oh my! My oh, my!!

I'VE GOT 1.75 ON PE. CONSIDERING THAT I THOUGHT I SUCK AT TABLE TENNIS. MWAHAHA 1.75 BABY.

Thank you ,Sir. I feel a little guilty. Just a little. You see, I used every allotted amount of absences for a student so that I could avoid PE. that was,uhm, yes, 8 absences. I always said that well, I'm just "not wasting my allotted absences" blah blah. Now, I feel guilty. But just a little, just like I've said for I put effin' 10000000% of my effort on that PE.
My grandfather was a table tennis player, a great one, I think. We have a photo of him hanging here in the house, where in he's wearing a lot of medals. But, unfortunately, I didn't inherit the sporty gene of my grandfather. I don't know but I was an active child. I used to play a lot of games that involve running,when I was a kid. Now it seems I grew out of it and became passive. Passive?yeah right.
Speaking of being sporty and the likes. I miss watching Rafael Nadal (on the television). I miss watching men's tennis in general. I don't like the women's that much, it's too..well feminine and not as exciting as the men's. Also, I miss watching football. Live football on the television. It's just hard to stay up until 2-3am in the morning,you know. Freakin' timezone differences.Maybe I should move to Europe,e? Haha. But I do watch the highlight shows and all the football shows on ESPN and Star Sports. Some says football is boring, maybe because of the duration each match has. But then again football is a game of patience and planning the attack. Duh, you can't score in the first minute of the game when 11 men are trying to defend. It's not like basketball. And what not to like with the football players?!Haha. I know, I know. They can't help that they're all gorgeous,no.Seriously, what I love about this beautiful sport is the excitement and the rush when one scores, particularly if it is stunning and from the player of the team you support. It is as if you scored the goal yourself. Sheer joy.
Sometimes, I just feel like I am born in the wrong place,do not get me wrong I love living in the Philippines. It's just that the things I like are things that are not well-appreciated in this country--football,tennis,football players,etc. Or are they just some influence I got from the media?
Oh well. The bottom line is I've passed my last PE with a grade not lower than 2.00

Deus ex Machina

2009-10-28T11:50:00.000+08:00

From the very little chance of my friend's father surviving, my friend told us that her father is in a stable condition now. And doctors told them he has a chance of surviving. Isn't God amazing?.
I was flabbergasted when she was uttering the words of her father's progress, for she was in tears when she first said he might go. But there, he's stable now and keeping up,maybe not for himself,but for his family.
I am not at all religious but I strongly believe in God, and his ways. Sometimes, we just can't explain it but we make it. Like, leaving home late for school, and getting there earlier than expected. Little things, yes. But they mean a lot. Maybe some are just of fate but most of these things are because of his ways. He guides us, but little do we know of his guidance for most of us,sadly,forget him, in times.

Of Tragedies and Sunshines

2009-10-21T06:49:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

I am writing this not for myself,but for a friend. Though we don't know each other that much, we're still friends. After all time is just numbers.God, please give her the strength to carry on with life if her father is to go to your paradise. Please, let her overcome this tribulation that you have given her,in order for her to be stronger. I know,albeit I'm not in a situation of losing a loved one,that it's hard for her to smile each day,but she does smile. You give her the strength to do so, I hope you'll give her a much more powerful strength to go on and live . I know, it will take much a time for her to let go but please God, guide her and show her your purpose for the challenges she is now facing. The pain of seeing someone you love,slowly diminishing,bit by bit,day by day, is harder than any sudden loss and she's been great for keeping her emotions and comforting her Mom and younger sister. She's already strong, I know. But God, I pray to you,to help her and her family. I strongly believe in you, God. I know, you will never let us down.

Thank you.

Resistance

2009-10-17T10:29:00.000+08:00

I know I said I will post an entry about the M.E. gig we went to,but I am so lazy to make a looong post, so I'll leave it to this: We went to Eastwood and watched Miguel Escueta. It's kinda funny for we didn't care about the other artists,seriously. Well,except for Chris Cayzer,mind you. We kept drooling over,M.E. the whole freakin' time he's in our sights! Yes, and then photo oppt. Nice dude,by the way.Really, I've never been as shaky as I was that night!Just as we planned,we went home after his performance-an energetic one. We went home,though we'd known that Hale would perform.
--

You know, it's not my fault that I couldn't resist to really thought about things. You know, like things-you and whatever. There,I admit it. My heart skipped a beat. Then, high school crush,looking so dazzling and whatever, popped out of nowhere. I went flabbergasted. It wasn't my birthday was it? My birthday's long over. Duh. And why am I even posting 'bout this stuffs?!! Err. I even had a dream about you?! I couldn't believe it,but it's true.True.

I am just going to remind myself,every second of the day,that it can't be. I don't want it to be. No.no.no!

Sound of Music

2009-10-13T11:49:00.000+08:00

Since I am not in the mood to really post some sensible entry in here,though I want to, I'll just list down artists that I lalaloove listening to.
Why's that? Simply,for this is my blog and you cannot do anything about it. Haha

Lifehouse- I guess this band is my most favorite band of all. Jason Wade's voice is just surreal! And their lyricism is deep and has profound messages. I love all of their songs!

The Script- Three-piece band from Dublin,Ireland. Their songs are,mostly,about break ups and/or trying to get back with someone. Most of the tracks from their debut album are fast and I love singing along to those. "I'm Yours" is like the only ballad from the album,and it gives me goosebumps.

Paolo Nutini-This guy has soul.Haha I like his songs but not all of it,though. My favorites would be "Last Request" and "Million Faces.

Sweeney Todd OST-Johnny Depp sings.DUH.

Keane-The mere fact that these guys don't play guitars is just awesome. Their sound is different and catchy. I love "Somewhere Only We Know" the best.

Miguel Escueta-First saw/heard/know about this guy almost three years ago. If I'm not mistaken 'twas during an event in AA. January 2007,I think. And he's like,the only local artist I am listening to. My favorite tracls from his album are "Pull Through" and "Isipin" .(Me and a friend went to Eastwood last Friday knowing he'd perform. Will talk about this on the next post.lol)

Also: Boys like Girls,The Fray,Gavin DeGraw,David Archuleta, Coldplay,Paramore.

Music has been a great part of my life,really. These days,it keeps me sane and helps be at peace,after all the hiatus and hullabaloo. And whatsoever. Without music I'd be dull and glum for the rest of my life.

Absurd

2009-10-06T11:00:00.000+08:00

Last Week:

"E bakit mo ba sya pinagtatanggol?!!?"

"E, basta! Ewan. Basta nga!"

"Naku, iba na yan!haha"

To be quiet honest, I don't why I contradicted everything that was said against him. Yet, I am sure--or at least sure to ease myself--that it's nothing more,just a mere crush. Yes, mere crush. That'll do it.

Not Now

2009-09-17T10:08:00.000+08:00

Seeing you pass by,remembering what the past year had been like,I knew it can never be like that again.I had a sudden thought of what seemed to be a never ending reminiscent of what a friend you were.For, I was comfortable with your presence,the talks we had. I don't regret not saying anything,for I don't want to say any. Not in a million years would I want to go beyond the line.
As you walked,I felt I should at least greet you,but didn't. For unknown reasons.
We're the same but different,now. Total cliche

Photo of the Day

2009-09-16T02:15:00.000+08:00

While I was reviewing for my 9:00am recitation,awhile ago, I can't help but wonder what happened to the Del Potro-Federer match. I left the house knowing that both players have a set in their hands,and are playing the rest of the final. On the back of my mind, I thought of Federer winning again. But-- Yeah,The 6'6 Dude won. 6-3, 6-7, 6-4, 6-7, 2-6 is the result. This just made my day!!

Yes, I Gave In

2009-09-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

I finally decided to join twitter. [link] FOLLOW.ME. lol
Does Rafael Nadal have a twitter account? Hmm. I wonder.
Lack of blog posts, I'm so tired and my brain isn't functioning as I wish it would. But here's what has happened today: I went weak to the knees on my way home, and it is of good reason. I felt butterflies in my stomach,which is of good reason,too. In short, I saw this crush I had during high school (or until now). Ahh, nothing beats ol' high school days.

Ohh, I'm kinda studying Spanish and me and my classmates are sort of planning to enroll ourselves in Spanish class next semester. Yay.

2009-08-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

Paulo Coelho has a twitter account! OMG. Hee~ [link]
I just knew like two days ago?lol. Mr. Coelho is an amazing writer.Some of his twitter tweets are,like, quotable. :D

Here are some:

" The biggest threat to society today is "blame the govt". We are responsible. We can do much more to have our voices heard."

"We have an angel and a demon trying to control us all the time"

"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose your task in life"

"You know when your heart is guiding you when you are enthusiastic. You know when you are far from your heart when you are bored."

" there is only one principle to success: courage. to face your dreams, face criticism, face defeats, etc. Courage is the key"

"I am convinced that everyone has at least ONE talent to develop. The question is: where is it? In your heart"

"I will define life as a wonderful pilgrimage from birth to death. Enjoy the journey."

"Nothing is completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day"

I might join twitter someday.Haha

Cramming

2009-08-28T11:36:00.000+08:00

Midterms + reports= Cramming. *head desk*

But Yep, still got the time to procrastinate.

Author's Note

2009-08-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

"At some point we have said through our tears, 'I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it.' We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive.We suffer because our love is going unrecognized.We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rule"

-By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept,Paolo Coelho

Hello, I've bought Three Books in Three Days

2009-08-20T11:34:00.000+08:00

The title says it all! I just couldn't help it! I.Just.Couldn't.Help.It. Baaaaaah. I am thankful my parents gave me extra-extra money this week!

Books that I bought:

"The Wedding" by Nicholas Sparks
"By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept" by Paolo Coelho (currently reading this one)
"The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini

You see, I'm thinking of filling my book shelves with books. I'm planning to throw my handouts and textbooks away at the end of the semester. On second thought, I might just resell my old textbooks in Recto.Hee

And.And, the multi-whatever quizbee a while ago was like blah. Okay,we won third place and that's good(considering that we didn't do any review and we just guessed almost all of our answers! )The easiest one was the question which answer was Brasilia. Haha, my researching for Brazilian Football players paid off.lol

And don't you think Johnny Depp is sexy? I watched "Chocolat" a few days ago and went gaga when Johnny was playing the guitar. *faints* (this is so random,haha)

Ahhhh We'll watch "The Time Traveler's Watch" on Friday!Can't Wait.

Madame Petit

2009-08-18T08:30:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I hate you to bits! You're crap, you heart me? Well, I figured you can't hear me.Nor can you read this. Spending a million for dinner? Are you nuts?! There are so many Filipinos starving, and you spent a fortune on foods for you and your puppies? How can you spend a million on a lavish restaurant when a hospital,which the people badly need,might close?!!!
If I were 17 again, I'd like to slit your throat until you die for I won't end up behind bars.

Yes, harsh. I know.You deserve all of it.

Can't Help: Buying and Reading Books

2009-08-14T07:34:00.000+08:00

I've been addicted to reading books for more than a year now. It's such a shame I didn't find out ,on a much younger age,how entertaining it is to read a book. But now though, I've bought around 6 or 7 books in the last 6 or 7 weeks,and read 7 books in 6-7 weeks as well. Collecting books is much more addictive than collecting CDs I tell you! I already own more than 15 books I think? I mean, in a single year I've bought 15 books already? Sounds crazy to me, but I've done it! And I'm glad so.
The latest book that I bought is "The Gathering" by Anne Enright. I've no idea of its story,but I don't know I was just drawn to it when I held it and figured 'Yeah I should buy this,and besides it's on sale.A bargain, Php 50.oo doesn't hurt'.
Maybe,just maybe this is a sign that I am,in fact,growing up.

And oooh! Paolo Nutini.Yay. I'm not really into his kind of music but.. I gave in! I love his song entitled "Last Request". Too.Beautiful. And who could resist this boy's charm? Like,c'mon!

So It Goes

2009-08-08T10:30:00.000+08:00

Thinking of what happened the past few days, I might trip over and be sick any moment. There were few bad situations, but I am happy I survived. I am delightful there was illumination. With all things seemingly into place, I feel fine. I can breathe now,thankfully. Besides, who would have thought I'd gone through all of that? So much for a piece of paper-proving you've done it all.
So why does it matter? Why d'we go to college aside from all of the cliche answers? Maybe because we live in the third world,where attaining college education is the only way to have a living, and survive all of the third-world-things. But you know, we can never be sure that after college we can be as we thought we could. This is a risk. I mean,college is a risk. You don't know if after all of the holding-backs and almost-giving-ups-but-still-going-ons that you've experienced you'll achieve what you want. Hardship, but we still go on.

An Open Letter

2009-07-20T04:43:00.000+08:00

Witch,

After hearing the bad feedbacks that I expected from my classmates, it seems that you're in for a job to make our lives a living hell. A living hell,at least for a semester no? But I suggest you stop blabbering how "irresponsible" they/we are, and be responsible yourself. I suggest you help us rather than preach for the majority of time allotted for learning. I suggest you discontinue your verbal oppression, because we might explode and say what a ridiculous monkey you are.Finally, I suggest you stop all the non-sense you plan to make us do. Don't make us hate you more, because one day you'll regret it. Regret it I tell you.

Lots of freakin' love,

Ericka

The World Needs More San Iker

2009-07-11T11:36:00.000+08:00

This photo just saved my ridiculous day!

“Life is difficult here(Mali). We are used to big things, but the truth is there’s nothing here. A keyring, a pin or a balloon are very much treasured; you can bring a lot of happiness with very little.“

Oh Iker if the world has more people like you,and less people like ehem, it'll be all good. It's wise that you're using your influence to help those in great needs. San Iker as they call you, you truly have a heart of gold. Adopt me will you? Kidding.

Source: [Real Madrid]; [Kickette]

It's Alright--NOT

2009-07-09T05:47:00.000+08:00

You shouldn't have told me.You should at least thought of what I'd feel.You betrayed me, you know it to yourself and still you didn't even say "Sorry". How could you do that to a friend? Now everything has changed between the two of us and us.You think it's fine e? when it's obviously not! You assumed it's okay. Assumed.I hate myself for saying it's alright-NOT.Now, don't you feel guilty about all this? You just put me to the biggest mess of my life.

I Want to Slit Someone's Throat!

2009-07-05T11:39:00.000+08:00

It's not that I am in a hurry or anything like that but.. I want my stuffs back NOW!It's been with you since last semester do you realize that? Do you even think to give it back to the owner? I don't think so. Seriously, why the hell won't you give me back my flashdrive? and my Tuesday with Morrie book? :( I try my hardest to contact you but.. no reply or anything. I want my flashdrive back,if it doesn't contain a French movie I wouldn't care, but it does! And if my book doesn't contain notes from my closest friends, I wouldn't give a damn, but it does! They are pretty much important to me.
You know,you're a nice person but not giving my stuffs back makes you a bad person that I want to do something mean to. Dammit. I won't lend you anything anymore!

In Four Days

2009-07-01T11:29:00.000+08:00

Yay! just finished reading "The Undomestic Goddess" by Sophie Kinsella. It was really good. I started last Saturday. :D

I want to read more books,but I have to concentrate more on school stuffs from then on.Seriously.I have 5 major subjects and PE-my only minor subject. So I have to be as good as I can.

Junior? Nah, I still don't feel like one.

USA,The Weather And Whatnot

2009-06-28T11:15:00.000+08:00

Things that mattered over the week. Well,at least for me.

USA-Seriously, beating Spain doesn't mean you're actually greater than them. Let's face it, they're still greater okay? I'm assuming they were overconfident, that's why they lost.Plus you're lucky,really.That Martin Rogers guy should stop being such an effin' bias and just shut up!

Weather-One minute it's hot and then the other it's raining. Argh. Who's not going to be sick with that kind of weather e?

Non-showing Professors-You know how hard it is for me to wake up ultra early? You know how much effort I've given so that I won't be late? Then you're not going to show up? What? D'you have to quarantine yourself or something? We had no professors last Tuesday and Thursday. For reasons unknown.

Cesc's Faux-hawk- Dude,you're 22 try acting your age. You're not on your 30's! And who told you faux-hawk is cool? I like you,I honestly think you're skills and looks put together,but your hairstyles are lame.

Traffic-Who's not angry with traffic? I spare 90 minutes for commuting but most of the time I end up being late.

My classmate- Oh geez, I don't know how to act around you! D'you really intend to be like what you are to distract me? Congratulations, it's working.

Cheering-I SERIOUSLY HATE IT! It's the lamest thing I've ever done. THE. As If I am going to watch some hoop game?!! Absolutely,Not! Not even if we're required to do so! Not a chance!!!! It's not that I'm against having school spirit but I JUST HATE IT!!

Rafael Da Silva-Oh really, so you think you're that cute no? Guess what, you are that cute. Hee hee. And I think I am crush on you.No wait, that's wrong. I am crushing on you.

Homeworks-Involve loads of reading. C'mon I'm reading Sophie Kinsella's "The Undomestic Goddess"!

I guess that's it! Have so much reading to do. But in general my week turned out to be okay. Just looking at Rafael's picture can get me through all of this. I know it. :>

PS: Why is it just okay to shout to the whole world that you have a crush on a certain celebrity but totally embarrassing to even let a few people know you have a crush on a normal person?

Now Here We Go Again

2009-06-16T05:53:00.000+08:00

I forgot that it's my first day of being a junior and as a result I was late. I was 15 minutes late because of heavy traffic,that good ol' reason for everyone to be late. I was scared to enter the room because I was late and the professor was already there,so I didn't go in. I saw familiar faces,those people in the same Science class that I was last semester, and a few others that I have never seen before. As I was looking from outside, I saw the professor's face and boom! it scared me. She's the kind of professor who looks sophisticated(well dressed and has make up on)and terrifying all at the same time. Just try to get the picture.
I was waiting for the class to be finished so I can get inside for the next one as someone approached me. It was this guy I was in two classes with last semester. Apparently, we're in the same class again. Same.Class.Again. I didn't know what I look like after he said that he's in that English class too. Did I look like a blushing idiot? Did I look like I'm going to trip over my feet? Did I look happy? Because, maybe I smirk? I am not sure if I really did smirk!I used to like him,not in a serious kind of likeness, so having him in the class will make learning more interesting,sort of. Seriously, I was surprised when I found out he's in the same class.I felt butterflies in my stomach.Oh geez.
It was already 10:00am and the professor was no show so I decided to go home since that was my last class already.My first day ended with me being worried about what's going to happen in the coming days,being excited to hang out with Rhea,Hanna and some occasional Wendy again and still not feeling like a Junior.

Rossoneri

2009-06-08T10:59:00.000+08:00

Susyal. Dolce and Gabbana's one of AC Milan's sponsors!. Holy K.Dolce.And.Gabbana. Imagine that people.Plus adidas is their sponsor as well. Woo, what a rich football club. Oh well,Milan players look like super kadooper models naman.And they work itttttt (in the football pitch or photoshoot) better than those male models that we often see in some fashion magazines.That is Kaka, everyone. I don't know if he'll be with AC Milan next season though.
I just want to blog about it K?O'right. I was just in shocked when I saw it. lol

Because Sometimes I Care

2009-06-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

Me and my friends planned to go out this afternoon. The rain didn't stop us. What did? A new born baby. Hanna had to rush to the hospital because her sister-in-law gave birth. Now we just have to pray that Independence day'll be a sunny day or we're screwed.
Rainy days are frustrating, so as I was frustrated and had nothing more to do, I wandered the narrow sea of thoughts of mine. And I'd figured I miss everyone and I don't feel like a junior college at all.Not.At.All.
It's good to know, that you still keep your old friends with you. The fact that you don't see each other much sinks in when you meet them again. So much has changed but not the friendship that you have with them. Still the same. Solid. I miss high school. I miss my friends. I miss goofing around. I miss not thinking about tomorrow. I miss blushing. I miss laughing every second. I miss it all. I miss my college friends too. It's not everyday we see each other, we're not at the same school so... I think some people from my school,at least those who I know,think I am an introvert or something. Hmm.
Thinking I will be on my third year,this coming school year sucks. It hasn't sunk in to my shallow head yet. Or maybe it will never. It feels weird. Me? What? Third year? Yeah right. Right. As much as possible I don't want to scare myself, you know with all that you're-a-junior-already kinda stuff,for I know I'll panic and God-knows-what-will-happen next.
June 15,will ya please slow down a little bit? Will ya? Don't come yet until I'm ready alright? Right.
On a lighter note, why do football players have to be insanely hot? Like c'mon Spanish football players are oozing hot. Search "Fernando Torres" or "CescFabregas" and you'll see what I mean. Or or, Cristiano Ronaldo.Or Kaka.Football players are love. Well yeah, when everyone seems to be crazy with NBA,UAAP and whatevs I watch football.

Embark on a Magical Realm

2009-05-26T05:11:00.000+08:00

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. It tells the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom. Blessed with the extraordinary gift of guiding the imaginations of others, Dr Parnassus is cursed with a dark secret. Long ago he made a bet with the devil, Mr Nick, in which he won immortality. Many centuries later, on meeting his one true love, Dr Parnassus made another deal with the devil, trading his immortality for youth, on condition that when his first-born reached its 16th birthday he or she would become the property of Mr Nick. Valentina is now rapidly approaching this 'coming of age' milestone and Dr Parnassus is desperate to protect her from her impending fate. Mr Nick arrives to collect but, always keen to make a bet, renegotiates the wager. Now the winner of Valentina will be determined by whoever seduces the first five souls. Enlisting a series of wild, comical and compelling characters in his journey, Dr Parnassus promises his daughter's hand in marriage to the man that helps him win. In this captivating, explosive and wonderfully imaginative race against time, Dr Parnassus must fight to save his daughter in a never-ending landscape of surreal obstacles - and undo the mistakes of his past once and for all.
Johnny Depp,Jude Law and Collin Farrel were cast to replace Heath, the new idea of transformed versions of Ledger's character traveling through a magical realm.

Here's the official trailer and a 15-second preview shown at Cannes:

trailer| preview

I can't wait for this one! I'm not that into movies but this interests me a lot.It premiered during this year's Cannes Film Festival and will be released in the UK on the 6th of June,but I doubt it will be released in the Philippines soon or it might not be released here. :| So all I can do now is wait and wait and wait and see.

Losing Creative Juices

2009-05-25T06:03:00.000+08:00

Since summer vacation started I felt like my brain went to a very long sleep.I haven't written anything in my "notebook of rants"since forever. I haven't thought of anything creative enough to write down. Okay,maybe because my procrastinating side took over since it knows there isn't a thing or so to worry about.Have I lost inspiration?I don't even have that of an inspiration even if it isn't summer. Am I too lazy to do things? Uhm ohh. Okay, most probably I lost inspirations and my brain's still suffering from a drought that stops it from producing some juice. What caused that drought? Well,summer heat did,and still does. Maybe I have to give myself and my not-so-creative brain a break. Besides there'll be another 10 months of school torture and whatnot after this hibernation process is over. Ugh.

Blog Update

2009-05-23T06:02:00.000+08:00

Since it is still summer vacation I decided to kind of tweek my blog. Adding some elements and what not. I won't have loads of time to do these kind of stuffs when school starts. It's still undone though.

[edit]
Okay now it's done. Hopefully I won't change this layout for a long time. :D
[/edit]

My Alter-ego is Athletic

2009-05-13T02:29:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since my last blog entry e? Okay maybe not, just a few weeks then. I've been pretty much a couch potato throughout my summer vacation. I lack budget to go out often (or maybe I just don't want to spend much), and the fact that I love watching TV strikes every time I plan to text a friend to ask her to hit the mall with me. I am such a lazy lass you know. Lame.Ohh,anyways I am so much hooked with sports. I mean ehem just watching sports ehem. I like watching tennis and soccer/football.Whatever. I remember the first time I laid eyes on Cristiano Ronaldo, I mean Manchester United (haha) and Rafael Nadal.It's been three or four years ago.I was in high school. I don't know why, but I enjoy watching sports though I was never athletic and never will be. I suck at PE or any sports.
Oh well I still have to suffer at least another semeseter of PE.

Stuck

2009-04-26T06:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, I have a new layout. And I am hoping this layout is here to stay because I am lazy to change it anyways. It's the 25th day of April and I'm still doing nothing aside from watching TV,being so much interested in watching sports and sleeping late. Maybe the essence of summer vacation is to actually do nothing. Or maybe not.

Anoop's out.Boo. :|

1234

2009-04-03T11:14:00.000+08:00

1. Currently listening to The Cure's" Friday I'm in Love".
2. Cannot believe I got a freaking 2.50 from one of my English subjects.
3. Still thinking on what gift to give my friend who's turning 18.
4. Thinking if we're going to David A. and David C's concert on May 16th. Man the ticket prices are expensive! Boo.

Sorry blog I'm pretty lazy to update this thing. For the last two weeks of school I was typing a lot you see. But hey, I wrote this entry so that's a bit of a progress.

Wednesday

2009-03-26T06:26:00.000+08:00

Someone stole my phone and my wallet. Ugh. Well I just hope that person,if he/she's even one, will enjoy the luxury of my stuffs. The guard at McDo's didn't do much to help us. I'm not really that depressed or anything. I almost cried but I didn't. I just almost did. I feel like I lost contact to the world. I'll be waking up each morning without my phone beside me anymore. And my wallet? That kind of depressed me, I just bought that wallet like 3 weeks ago,inside it were guitar picks. Guitar picks, for crying out loud! They're important to me.
We tried to call the stupid stupid person who stole my things, and that refused to answer any of our call. So yes, we said all the words that will come out to your mouth when you're in that kind of situation.
The world is scary nowadays.

Saturday

2009-03-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

I should be preparing to leave now. I have to go to school though I don't have any class today, we have to finish our thesis. Actually, it's not even the serious kind of thesis. It's a requirement for our Filipino class that we have to revise before we get our grade. What more if we're going to make a thesis for us to graduate? So yeah, it's that hard I guess. I have to go to school tomorrow, as well. I'm thinking of not going though, like please?! I still have other subjects to take care of.
I feel so tired. I've been waking up early and sleeping late the past few days. I still have to review for my other exams this coming week. I f I could just be at two place at a time so I can do all of my tasks. Boo. Wednesday, I can't wait for you.
I miss my friend, Hanna. I haven't seen her for more than five months now. It's pretty sad, all of us miss her. All of us don't have any news about her lately. I am hoping she'll be back sooner. :|

PS:
Do you believe in life after death? Hmmm. This thing interests me.

Freak Me Out

2009-03-16T09:32:00.000+08:00

I went on with my usual routine today. Went to church. Ate lunch out with family. Then after we went home, I slept for like 3 hours. Good time. I was freaking sleepy this morning because I slept like around 12 midnight last night, then woke up at 6:30am. I don't know, I couldn't sleep without writing anything last night, and I kept on thinking about this dream I had last Thursday night. So I did write a few awkward lines until deciding to call it a day.
Here's a few lines:

"Your golden eyes' gaze
My heart pounding with what's true
You're a beautiful yet confusing maze"

The rest are way too cheesy to be posted.Haha. I am loving my school days right now, it's almost the end of the semester though. Anyways, about this spooky dream last Thursday night . It was really spooky that I even panicked when I woke up. It involved be being drowned and lost and failing all of my subjects. There was this point in that dream wherein my professor said I flunk all of my subjects and she even mentioned "March 19".Weird. So as I woke up I quickly made myself a coffee. I panicked and did my routine quickly so I won't be late for school. The dream was a total reverse of what happened as I went to school. Absolutely nothing from that "almost nightmare" happened. I didn't drown, or get lost or failed anything. In fact, Friday turned out to be good or even great. Great meaning I had this moment where in my *cough* crush *cough*made me all giddy and hyped up. And I cannot believe, in a million years that he's nicer than I thought he was and he knows what he wants to do with his life. I always thought he's just there to finish college then that's it. Pretty interesting.
March19, hmm I wonder what that means. Creepy.

Junior or Super Sophomore?

2009-03-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

The problem is I am an irregular student so, I might be a semester behind everyone else at my batch. Seriously, I don't care. It's the consequence I knew I had to take. I chose this, so I'd be it. I still have a game plan for next semester though. I don't know what's going to happen but actually no one knows what's going to happen next. It's all about taking risks. So that game plan's not going to work or fail if I'm not actually going to make it happen. I just have to be positive about this kind of stuffs at the moment. I am falling apart, all those researches give me stress,but they challenge me as well. I know I can use all the things I am learning throughout this semester. Last time I was wishing for this semester er to end, but now I don't want it to end yet. I am enjoying it, and there's a lot of things I haven't shown and said. Things that I thought were too awkward to say. Things that were too hideous to show. Now the time has come, but it will all be blown away in a snap of my fingers. We'll see.

Oh, by the way! I don't why but this guy, Kris Allen, reminds me of Jason Wade.

Dear March

2009-03-05T13:03:00.000+08:00

Boy, I am so doomed. I am hating research more and more. Plus the fact that finals are coming makes it worse that I could possibly imagine. Is this the price I get from being born on your time?
Cause if it is, I don't want any of it. I shouldn't be blogging right now, but I couldn't help it. My rant-filled mind won over the I-must-finish-this side of me. I barely notice that you've arrived already, I just remembered it yesterday. See how busy I am? I am busy because I don't like what I am doing,if I am occupied with things I am interested to then I will always find time to prevent my fingers from typing these characters. It's kinda sucky to think I am not even half way to what I am supposed to write for my research, it's just that this urge of blogging pushed me.
March, you know you're not my favorite at all,for knowing that you're already here means you'll take away another year of my youth. This time, you're taking away my innocence and my right to be irresponsible at times. You're taking away my right to be immature. You're going to permit me to drink alcohol and all. But you know what? I just hope you'll get tired of counting numbers and decides to stop for a while.With that I can digest all of what is happening. I hope you can give me time to breath and be at ease about all of this. To be honest, I will never be at ease about all of this because I don't know if I am going to make it or break it. You're the only one who knows, but I don't want you to say it to me yet. I hope you get tired of how most teens want you to leave, so that they will already spend times with April on the beach. I hope you realize that,and I hope you'll be pissed off about this fact and upset them by slowing your pace.
I need time,more time than the number of hours you're suppose to stay for. If time's gold,then March,you're time's diamond now.
I have to do stuffs,to utter words I wish I've said sooner than I thought. Don't you want to say a little longer? Maybe just this time?

~E.

Distress

2009-02-26T13:14:00.000+08:00

I don't know why on earth this day seemed to be like there's-nothing-to-do-but-waste-time kind of day. From the moment I woke up,until now I couldn't figure anything I've done,which is at least close to being productive of some sort. Aside from going to school at 11:30am, and figuring out I'd just be sitting on my desk on a four-walled cold and sometimes messy classroom listening to my music player instead of my professor who apparently didn't discuss anything because we were outnumbered by those dentistry students who went to the theater and watched a debate.
So there went the unexpected, through texting a plan was made. Yes, thank you technology. My friends and I planned to claim the tickets,since we're all free today. So we did,but okay, it's not what we expected. It's not even close. I don't know if getting 4 bronze tickets set the mood of us-being pissed of and totally wasted, or it's just me-having a contagious disease today,a disease that even I, don't know what to call. Boo.
It never gotten any better, it went worse instead. Being stuck on traffic on my way home just made this day a wasteful one. A kind of day that even a dog would want to get over with and forget.
Now I just feel like having my hair cut or something. I hope tomorrow's a good day.

We Got Tickets to See the Show

2009-02-24T04:18:00.000+08:00

Finally, a connected computer! Yay.
I'll get this thing straight since I can't be procrastinating any longer. I have to do my research paper!
My friend won four tickets for the Eraserheads' Final Set concert!! So how cool's that?!
She won last Thursday, I think? Then she called me, I was in the mall that time and I started to be giggling and all. I couldn't help it, of course she gave on of those tickets but we haven't really received the tickets. Haha Apparently, we have to go to Paragon to get those tickets. I just hope and pray that if we're going to get the tickets, it won't me on a Monday,or a Wednesday, or a Friday. Because if so, then I'm dead. I can't skip class. Well, I won't anyways.
Gotta go. I still have at least five pages of research to do. Boo.

We Were All Newborns With Blurred Vision and No Sense of Direction

2009-02-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

"The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.
The salt burned you right out of my eyes.
And secrets we´re not proud of, were taken with the tide.
We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.
Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath.
This is why I walk to the ocean.
Swim with sharks and jellyfish.
I may never get this chance again.
This is why if you want to kiss you should kiss.
If you want to cry you should cry, and
If you want to live you should live.
You don´t have to love me.
You already did.
At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.
It's for lovers (or just friends)
This is why I do it."- Ryan Ross

I was googling Panic at the Disco, and found this one. Isn't it beautiful? It amazed me so I felt like I have to post it somewhere. :D
I changed my header and background, a few days ago. my layout features Brendon Urie from P!ATD and their song "I Write Sins not Tragedies" . Update this as soon as I got all my school work done. Ugh. :|
I can't wait for Thursday! UP Fair. :)

Because I am Nocturnal

2009-02-03T11:46:00.000+08:00

I just feel like blogging today!
--
Sometimes, a day starts on its worst,like today. I was never diurnal.Traffic jam. A hideously long line on the LRT station. Another freaking line outside school.I was 15 minutes late on my English class and I felt bad because I felt like my professor was talking about me and me-being late, and all that bad stuff about tardiness. Before the end of that subject, my ID lace finally gave up. Finally, its broken. Good. How can it get any better? How can it be any good? rather. I was hopeless about things. My PE class, I thought, must be worse, worse than worst. To my surprise, it set the mood. I was lucky enough to win over my classmate. Very lucky,indeed.
But, seriously I am not really the kind who will be thrilled because of her academics, or her win at her Badminton match. Forgive me if I sounded as if I go to school beacuse I have to, and not because I want to, and don't get me wrong, I love studying. I did. I do, sort of. And I think that's just typical. Teenagers go to school not only to learn but also to enjoy and socialize, and all. I go to school to learn and to enjoy, but most of the time I do learn.
At some point, Monday's not that bad. I won't even say its bad except for what happened early in the morning, because I am nocturnal.
It's not bad because of someone's presence. So yeah.

Are We Stil Friends?

2009-02-03T11:14:00.000+08:00

A friend is someone who is around when you need her. Someone who will laugh and cry with you.
I have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, I think I've lost two of them. On a matter that, they-unintentionally or intentionally-parted way with our clique. Two years have passed like a breeze, we haven't heard anything from them. Overused excuses that I am tired f hearing from them.Excuses that even a kindergarten would not believe. Maybe they've found new friends. Well, we did too. I did. But HS friends are those people I can never get tired of hanging around with. We will always be as close as we were before, or even closer. We always thought of bonding as much as we did before, but I guess things change. People change.
I still consider them as two of my closest friend but do they consider me,us, as their friends?

January Day

2009-01-27T12:57:00.000+08:00

Today was an okay day if not because of some stupid scenario near LRT-Santolan.
Okay,I was on my way to school very early in the morning. So as I stepped out of the jeepney that I was riding into, some pick-pocket person or whatever you may call it almost got my wallet. Oh well, in a funny way I was lucky because I usually walk fast. I was nervous afterward,but I felt funny and sorry for him and his side-kick. Well,if he did get my wallet he would only get two timezone cards and a few bucks--not enough to pay for the effort he put. Haha.
I was never clumsy.Okay, maybe I was. Sort of. But I take good care of my things. Really.That wallet was something I give importance of. You see.
So the day went on. Fast-pacing day.Didn't get the chance to play for my PE class.So my PE class turned out to be my 'music' class. Soundtrip for the whole hour.Listened to a lot of Lifehouse songs then. Didn't have the chance to talk much as I wanted to. I felt dull the first few hours of school. But around noon, I felt a bit giddy. Some giddiness that made sense to me, even though it was worse than non-sense at all. You know, sometimes having a crush helps you,and encourages you to go to school. Srsly. I really mean that. After all, thesis and research papers are not helping me to go to school. Instead,those things force me to go to school. The force is with me.
Oh, by the way I watched 'Paris Je T'aime' over the weekend. It was released in 2007,but as I've said I just watched it last weekend. It was an amazing film! or a collection of films maybe? So yeah.

LSS:Who We Are-Lifehouse

Words

2009-01-15T12:19:00.000+08:00

If words fail me, could you still hear what I've been wanting to say all along? Would you still understand what my face has been trying to tell you?

I am forced to talk much. I am a quite person. I am forced to talk and try to make sense while doing so. Boy, did I make any sense at all.

I could end up a day overcoming my fear of failure. There's a time that I fail and in that moment, it eats up the hope brought of what I have already overcome. it's harder to overcome failure than failure itself.